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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30033888">Sakura Syndrome (I think I’m ready to let you go)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_snm/pseuds/love_snm'>love_snm</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SixTONES (Band), Snow Man (Japan Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Deaf Character, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, OT9 - Freeform, Pink-haired Sakuma Daisuke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:28:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,048</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30033888</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_snm/pseuds/love_snm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Springtime reminds me of you and it hurts and I can’t help it.</p><p>or a Snow Man University AU where Meguro is a broke college student with emotional baggage and Sakuma is a pink-haired ball of sunshine that makes the day a little more bearable.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fukuzawa Tatsuya/Iwamoto Hikaru, Meguro Ren/Sakuma Daisuke, maybe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Character Settings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi, nice to meet you! I'm a newbie on this platform :) </p><p>I have no clue where the Snow Man fics are at… but found some fellow writers here on ao3, so here I am making my own content. We love being self-sufficient xd</p><p>All is fiction. All is for fun. This is kinda angsty but I promise to include fluff. Hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Raul Murakami (Rau, Raul) </b>
</p>
<ul>
<li><span>Sophomore (skipped a grade); Math major </span></li>
<li><span>Part of the dance crew </span></li>
<li><span>Friends with Meguro and Koji</span></li>
<li><span>Sometimes models for Koji </span></li>
<li><span>"Sweet and innocent. Sometime evil genius" </span></li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Meguro Ren (Meme, Ren, Meg) </b>
</p>
<ul>
<li><span>Sophomore; Performing arts major </span></li>
<li><span>Part-time actor and model </span></li>
<li><span>Friends with Raul and Koji</span></li>
<li><span>“Popular but always single for some reason” </span></li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>Mukai Koji (Koji, Jiiko)</b>
</p>
<ul>
<li><span>Sophomore; Photography major </span></li>
<li><span>Works part-time as a cameraman for photoshoots and events  </span></li>
<li><span>Friends with Raul and Meguro</span></li>
<li><span>From Osaka </span></li>
<li><span>"Who doesn't know Koji" "Everyone's favorite guy" </span></li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>Abe Ryohei (Abe-chan)</b>
</p>
<ul>
<li><span>Junior; Math major </span></li>
<li><span>Sakuma's best friend </span></li>
<li><span>"Boy you want to take home to introduce to your parents #1" </span></li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>Iwamoto Hikaru (Hikaru, Hii, Iwa-chan)</b>
</p>
<ul>
<li><span>3rd year; kinesiology major (6 year program)  </span></li>
<li><span>Dance crew captain </span></li>
<li><span>Dating Tatsuya </span></li>
<li><span>"Big guy, soft energy" </span></li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>Miyadate Ryota (Date, Ryota) </b>
</p>
<ul>
<li><span>Junior; Culinary Arts major + Japanese Literature and Culture minor </span></li>
<li><span>Works at a local tea shop downtown  </span></li>
<li><span>Childhood friends with Shota </span></li>
<li><span>"Mysterious charms" "Date sama"   </span></li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>Watanabe Shota (Shoppi, Nabe, Shota) </b>
</p>
<ul>
<li><span>Junior; Economics Major </span></li>
<li><span>Childhood friends with Ryota </span></li>
<li><span>"Popular with the ladies but relationships never last" </span></li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>Sakuma Daisuke (Saku, Sakkun, Takuma-kun) </b>
</p>
<ul>
<li><span>Junior; Psychology major + Japanese Literature and Culture minor </span></li>
<li><span>Ryohei’s best friend </span></li>
<li>
<span>Partially deaf. Can read lips. Has hearing aids but doesn’t like wearing them that much </span>
<ul>
<li><span>Was in an accident that cost him his hearing. </span></li>
</ul>
</li>
<li><span>"Sunshine personified" </span></li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>Fukazawa Tatsuya (Fukka, Tatsuya) </b>
</p>
<ul>
<li><span>3rd year; Education major (6 year program)</span></li>
<li><span>Dating Hikaru</span></li>
<li><span>"His kindness will make you fall for him, but he only has eyes on one person" <br/></span></li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 01</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Meguro Ren____</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Meguro sits on a wooden bench with eyes closed and hands clasped over his knees. He leans back, bench creaking, and the spring breeze is cool on his face. The sunlight shines through the blossoming sakura. There’s rustling and some murmuring from the socializing university students around him… but <em> it’s quiet. </em>Meguro feels at peace. </p>
<p>All is familiar. The wind rustling through the trees. The woody scent of the blossoms in the air. The buzz of ‘How are you’s and ‘Nice weather today’s-- Empty conversations. Yet… <em> I don’t want to open my eyes yet. </em></p>
<p>Because Meguro knows. Knows in his mind that when he opens them, people will be mindlessly rushing past him to their next destination. The blossoms will be beautiful. The sky will be a clear blue. And <em> he </em>wouldn’t be there to see it. </p>
<p>So, Meguro continues to close his eyes and feel the spring breeze. He draws his favorite figure in his mind. It’s all too familiar. </p>
<p>The light brown corduroy coat. Long arms reaching up towards the lowest blooming branch. Dark brown eyes. The little dip at the start of his nose. And the lazy crooked smile. <em> It’s all too familiar. </em> </p>
<p>Today marks the second year since __________. Only two years. Some would say <em> already </em> two years. But <em> the springtime still reminds me of you and it hurts and I can’t help it </em>. </p>
<p>Meguro sighs with a shaky breath. It was still quiet and he still didn’t have the courage to open his eyes on his own. </p>
<p>And while internally cursing at himself, </p>
<p>“Meg! There you are!” A familiar voice breaks the silence. The smoothe kansai dialect rolling off the tongue. </p>
<p>
  <em>Koji.</em>
</p>
<p>Meguro cracks his eyes open to see his friend’s big hands, kindly reaching over his face to block the sun from his eyes. And sits up to see a smiling Koji, big backpack, bucket hat, and camera straps as always. </p>
<p>“Hey! C’mon I’m hungry~”  There’s a twinge of poutiness in the voice, and Meguro can’t help but let out an overexaggerated sigh. </p>
<p>“But I was napping…” Meguro protests, while knowing quite well that Koji knows he wasn’t .</p>
<p>“You sleep at 10 and wake up at 5. Grandpa,” Koji jokingly nudges. “Plus, you never sleep in public.” </p>
<p>“Fair,” Meguro shrugs and slings his book back over his shoulder. “Where’s Rau?” </p>
<p>“Caught up with that big project he was complaining about,” Koji frowns for a second, but lets his eyes sparkle in glee. “Said we’d go and be his cheerleaders.” </p>
<p>“Ha. Funny”  </p>
<p>“Aw c’mon Meg. It’d be fun.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sakuma Daisuke______ </p>
<p>It’s lunchtime and the cafeteria is bustling with people. Being only the second week into the new school year, clubs are still recruiting in the quad and all the freshmen are socializing, trying to find their respective “spots” on campus. </p>
<p><em> How nostalgic </em> . Sakuma hums as he walks back towards the STEM building. Freshly bought sandwich in one hand, he checks his phone for any notifications and casually goes over some of the new choreography that Hikaru had shown him earlier this morning. <em> Huh… I wonder if that count was two-three, or one-two-three… </em> He asks himself. <em> I should probably ask him.  </em></p>
<p>As Sakuma approaches the doors of the math department, however, he sees two figures standing right in the doorway. A girl and a boy, conversing. He’s not close enough to hear their conversation, but from his personal experience being friends with Shota and Fukka for so long… the way the girl timidly approaches the boy… the way the girl flushes red and refuses to make eye contact… It was most definitely a love confession. <em> And they just had to show it all off to the lonely people in the world…  </em></p>
<p>Sakuma internally scowls. </p>
<p>But… Sakuma, also being the sucker for romance that he is (although it’s most often for cute anime girls and boys) decides to slow down his walking pace and let the two sort everything out. </p>
<p>The girl that seemed to be making the confession pulled a small pink envelope out of her bag. Her cheeks were bright red, and even from afar, she was slightly shaking. She wore a fuzzy white beret cap that matched her cardigan and wore a flower patterned one-piece that spread to just below her knees. Her makeup was simple. She smiled with her teeth. She was cute… and she probably knew it. Most of the guys at this university would probably agree… but the guy receiving the confession seemed totally unimpressed. </p>
<p><em> Huh… Have I seen this guy before? </em> He was strangely familiar. He was tall and had a nice build. His straight back hair was slicked back cleanly and his bangs parted at the center. He wore a dark brown coat and fashionably matched it with a casual shirt and some light brown wide pants. He was attractive… and the girl probably thought so too. The way he stood crooked with his weight to his left side and how he blankly stared at the girl as she made her grand gesture made it all too obvious that he was used to the attention. </p>
<p>Just then, the tall boy looks away from the conversation and makes straight eye contact with Sakuma. <em> Uh… </em> Panicking, he quickly looks down at his dark phone screen, but when he looks up again, he sees the boy still looking straight back. </p>
<p>“Senpai! I’ve been waiting for you!” He says with a little smirk. And before Sakuma can do anything, the handsome boy is jogging towards him and pulling at his arm. Then, looking back at the girl, he opens his mouth. </p>
<p>“Well… if that’s all you gotta say, I’m gonna go.” </p>
<p>His tone is quite cold compared to how he approaches Sakuma (i.e. a complete stranger). And without changing his expression, he takes the letter that the girl had just given him, and places it back to her hands. Up close, the letter is neatly decorated with rhinestones and ribbons. Something that must’ve cost a lot of time and effort to work with. </p>
<p>Shaking, the girl simply looks back at the boy and furrows her brows. </p>
<p>“I said… that we could start as just friends…” She musters to say, but the boy doesn’t falter. </p>
<p>“If you’re looking at me romantically from the start, then we will never ‘start as just friends”, He quotes back at her matter-o-factly. His tone is direct and brutally honest. “And … even if we could, there’s nothing beyond that for you and me.”</p>
<p>The girl, speechless by the boy’s sharp words looks straight at him for a second, tears welling in her eyes. </p>
<p>“You’re the worst,” The girl mouths, (she must have whispered it under her breath, because it’s too soft for Sakuma to hear) and she whirls around with her bag slinged on her shoulder and angrily walks away. A sweet scent of her perfume lingers in the air… and Sakuma himself is left speechless with the whirlwind of events. </p>
<p>It’s still silent since the boy is watching the girl stomp off with his left eyebrow cocked up and a bored look on his face… Sakuma feels anger simmering inside of himself. He looks up at the taller boy’s face, not knowing where to even start. <em> Did the guy not know how to be kind to people?? Any basic decency? Why did he have to be so harsh on that poor girl? </em>He tries to put the meanest look on his face, but the taller boy simply smirks. </p>
<p>The boy leans in towards Sakuma’s face, hands clasped behind his back. Immediately, the boy’s doe-like eyes and sun-kissed skin is in his view. </p>
<p>“Did <em> you </em>also fall for me?” The stranger’s deep voice is drowned out by the rustling wind and so Sakuma watches as the boy’s plump lips slowly mouth the words. “Did you, Pink <em> Senpai </em>?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 02</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Meguro Ren___</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“Did you fall for me too?” </p><p>The flirtatious words roll off Meguro’s tongue more naturally than expected, and he feels his ears burn with embarrassment. <em> What the </em> <b> <em>fuck </em> </b> <em> am I saying. When have I </em> <b> <em>ever </em> </b> <em> said this to anyone??? </em> He silently thanks the people in the sky that his hairstyle hides his ears today and swallows hard. </p><p>Meguro knew he shouldn’t tease the pink-haired boy because he was obviously an upperclassman… He couldn’t help it though. The older boy was attempting to scowl at him with his twinkling, round eyes, and all Meguro could see was a pouncing little pomeranian. He was really cute-- kind of like those mascot characters at fairs. And with all that going on in Meguro’s mind, the older boy starts yapping. </p><p>“Hey, that really wasn’t cool out there, you know?” Meguro remains silent. The older boy was obviously pissed. <em> Nice guy… I guess. How gentlemanly of him to speak up </em>… But instead of listening to his angry voice, Meguro spaces out on the little sun spots speckled across the boy’s pale face, and traces the spots down to his lips, then to his neck. The older boy continues. </p><p>“Couldn’t you have rejected her in a nicer way? Don’t you have any decency?” The pink-haired boy repeats. Meguro shakes his head and sighs. Someone was scolding him, yet here he was again, in his own little headspace looking for any similarities-- any trace of him-- in somebody else.  </p><p>Pink hair. Confident. Loud. Probably a bit naive. Meguro knew that there was no way he’d understand. No point in explaining.  </p><p>“She wasn’t cute, so no,” He answers, dodging all the sharp words with a smile. “I may have considered if it was you though.” </p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raul Murakami____</strong>
</p><p>As per usual, Meguro was called out during lunch for a love confession, leaving Koji and Raul in the empty math hall. Raul had just finished discussing his project part with his groupmates and sat beside Koji who was eating his homemade sandwich in the corner of the room. </p><p>“Meme really do be a heartbreaker, huh,” Raul pretends to scoff, and he smiles as Koji plays along, rolling  his eyes with a lazy smile. </p><p>“Meg-kyun as I always say,” Koji says with a shrug. “Nothin’ new.” </p><p> The two of them were used to Meguro getting attention from girls. They were all best friends since high school, and the boy was in the center of attention from the start. His tall build and slick hair gave him an aura that most high schoolers did not have. He had a nice face too. His kind almond eyes and sunkissed skin, sculpted features, and plump lips… All matched him well-- Raul always complimented him for that-- and the girls would always be fawning over him. </p><p>Despite being the “popular guy”, Meguro wasn’t what most people expected him to be. He was shy. He didn’t like all the attention, and he preferred the quiet more than being in the crowd. He didn’t waver between different love partners every week like some of the stuck up jerks in school. He diligently loved a single person for more than half his life. He wasn’t “most guys” and Raul was proud that he knew that. He was their “Meguro Ren”. </p><p>As Raul continues to casually converse with Koji, someone with a white lab coat walks into the lecture hall. </p><p>“Rau?” The voice is low and smooth. Raul looks up to see a man with chestnut hair and a toothy grin--<em> Abe san </em>. </p><p>“I brought a copy of what I mentioned to you earlier,” He says while rustling through his pockets to pull out a crinkled manila envelope. “I hope this could be a start.”</p><p>The older boy continues with a grin. Raul nods and politely thanks him as he accepts the file. </p><p>He’s taken by surprise when the older man reaches out to pat him on the head, but for some reason it didn’t feel all too bad. </p><p>“You’re a good friend, Rau.” </p><p>“...Thank you, Abe san”</p><p>There wasn’t much conversation beside that, and Abe waves goodbye soon after. Raul watches Abe leave the room and is then met by a pair of looking eyes. </p><p>“Oh?” Koji asks while cocking his eyebrows, but Raul just shakes his head.</p><p>“It’s not like that. Abe-san’s friend is part of the psych department. They’re starting a support group for people grieving lost loved ones… and I thought this could help Meme...” </p><p>Koji's eyes open wide, but stays silent and nods in understanding. </p><p>“It’s two years today,” Raul continues quietly in a low tone. He watches as Koji uncomfortably starts fiddling with his thumbs.</p><p>“--I know…” He says slowly. Denying any eye contact.  “He was under those trees again. He seemed fine... but we know he isn’t the type to let that show so… I’m sure he’s hurting a lot right now.” </p><p>Raul manages to give a grim smile a nod back. </p><p>“...It’s not like I want Meme to forget him. I just want him to be able to breathe a little more. He’s gone through a lot.” </p><p>“I know Rau… I know.”  </p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>Miyadate Ryota_____ </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Starting this semester, Abe started to work as a TA for one of the math classes and has a small classroom to himself for lunch. Naturally,(whether Abe likes it or not) the crew follows. So, Hikaru the kinesiology major, Fukka the education major, Shota the econ major, Sakuma the psych major, and Miyadate the culinary arts major are all hanging out in an upper division math classroom. </p><p><em> Must be strange seeing so many non-math majors here </em>… Miyadate thinks to himself. But all he can do is shrug his shoulders and watch his friends casually converse near the speaker’s podium. As of now, the four of them were trying to pry and get a conversation out of Sakuma.  </p><p>Just a couple of minutes ago, the sakura-haired boy had come back in an angry pout. Abe and Hikaru seemed to be genuinely concerned by the way his pale skin was a light shade of red and how he was breathing with his shoulders, but Sakuma just shook his head insisting nothing was wrong. </p><p>“Aw c’mon. With that hair color, you really look like a strawberry,” Shota jokes, but Sakuma just keeps pouting. </p><p>After a while, after having stuffed a couple rolls of bread into his tiny mouth, Sakuma speaks up. </p><p>“Shota! Fukka!” He calls out specifically. “If you are disrespectful to people who make love confessions to you… I will sling you through this window, past the courtyard, and into the humanities building.”  </p><p>Sakuma attempts to make an angry expression, his eyebrows crinkled to the center of his face, but the two targeted boys just start laughing. </p><p>“Why so sudden?” </p><p>Fukka asks with twinkling eyes. He amusingly watches as Sakuma puffs and shakes his head. </p><p>“No reason!” </p><p>“Well that was a lot of prepositional phrases, my friend” </p><p>Abe says with a chuckle, and Shota immediately rolls his eyes in disappointment. </p><p>“Abe-chan. Shut up.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <em> Just another day with the guys isn’t it… </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Character Settings Pt. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Tanaka Juri (Juri) </strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li><span>Junior. Wants to study something within music but undecided on what. </span></li>
<li><span>Performs as an underground rapper and always goes to concerts and shows.</span></li>
<li><span>Friends with Shota. </span></li>
<li><span>"Seems hard core. Is hard core. But also is a softy... Sometimes" </span></li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Matsumura Hokuto (Hokuto) </strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li><span>Junior. Studying philosophy. </span></li>
<li><span>The "Ice Prince" of Sakuma's grade</span></li>
<li><span>"A big mystery" "Only smiles with his bro friends" "Why can't I be his bro friend" </span></li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Morimoto Shintaro (Shinchan, Shintaro, Shin)</strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>
<span>Sophomore. </span><span>Undeclared major. Something in STEM</span>
</li>
<li><span>Is the captain of the inactive surfing club at school</span></li>
<li><span>"Nice and friendly" "your Go-to-guy" </span></li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Kochi Yugo (Kochi)</strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li><span>Junior. Psych major. </span></li>
<li><span>Same major as Sakuma and are good colleagues. </span></li>
<li><span>The other half of the sunshine crew</span></li>
<li>"The how-is-he-friends-with-those-scary-lookin-people guy" </li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Kyomoto Taiga (Kyomo, Taiga) </strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>Went to the same elementary school, middle school and high school as the other SixTONES boys </li>
<li>Rest To Be Announced</li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Lewis Jesse (Jesse) </strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>Went to the same elementary school, middle school and high school as the other SixTONES boys </li>
<li>
<span>Rest To Be Announced </span>
</li>
</ul>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Just a basic intro to 6T crew as well. This story is Suno main but I plan 6T to come up from time to time. Jesse and Kyomo info will be released in later chapters :))</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. 03</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Iwamoto Hikaru____ </b>
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  <span>“Ugh it smells like salonpas again…” </span>
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  <span>Hikaru watches his whiny boyfriend slump into the practice room. He had reserved a one-room dance studio for the day to organize his thoughts on an upcoming choreography. He was the lead choreographer for the dance crew afterall, and being the perfectionist he is, Hikaru wanted to get things straight before next practice. </span>
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  <span>“Fukka… you were the one who insisted you come with me,” Hikaru scoffs with a joking nudge.  He looks into the older man’s face and notices the bluish-gray shadows forming underneath his eyes. </span>
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  <span>Despite only being the beginning of the school year, professors in Tatsuya’s department were notorious for assigning an endless amount of projects and reports. This week was just one of those weeks, and Hikaru couldn’t help but feel sorry for the man… Fatigue was clearly written across his face, but Tatsuya continues to keep his soft composure.    </span>
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  <span> “You could’ve stayed home-- I know you need to catch up on sleep.” Hikaru ruffles the older boy’s soft hair, and Tatsuya lightly swats at him.</span>
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  <span>“I’m okay. You do your thing and then we can get dinner after,” Tatsuya says with a lazy smile. Hikaru watches him plop down in the corner of the practice room and curl up, resting his head on one of Hikaru’s rolled up sweatshirts. “Wake me up when you’re ready.” </span>
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  <span>“..M’kay.” </span>
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  <span>--</span>
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  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
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  <span>After a couple of hours, Hikaru was feeling pretty good about the choreo. He had an idea pretty much laid out from a couple of days ago, but after talking with Sakuma during lunch break, he found some points that could definitely be fixed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Now all I need to do is film this for Sakuma… and then dinner.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Hikaru thinks to himself, but before he can pull out his phone, Tatsuya is already on his feet, ready for camera duty. </span>
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  <span>“I can just use the selfie stick I made with chopsticks…” Hikaru giggles, watching the elder yawn completely unguarded. His hair that he put so much time into styling in the morning was a wild bird nest of a mess. </span>
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  <span>“Nah, nah.” Tatsuya shakes his head. “This is for Saku right? Lemme film. I don’t know if it’s just me, but the sound of the room fan is really loud and your voice is hard to hear when the camera is on the ground.”</span>
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  <em>
    <span>Huh… I never noticed that. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Hikaru thinks to himself. He was always pleasantly surprised by the way Tatsuya looked out for others--- noticing what most people don’t. Hikaru looks back to find Tatsuya sitting criss-crossed in front of the mirror and staring up at him with a blank look. </span>
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  <em>
    <span>He looks so soft… </span>
  </em>
  <span>The way his messy hair falls just above his eyes. His usual smile. His dewy expression and the way he looks up with his long lower lashes and sleepy gaze. The way he wears Hikaru’s red sweatshirt without notice and how his pale fingers peek out of the long sleeves. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You really are completely smitten aren’t you, Iwamoto Hikaru. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Hikaru laughs at himself. 5 years strong, and he was still completely head over heels for the man.  </span>
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  <span>“Hii, why are you creepy smiling?” </span>
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  <span>“Cree-... I’m not!”</span>
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  <span>“Oh, yes you were... C’mon let’s get this over with. I’m hungry!” </span>
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  <b>Meguro Ren___</b>
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  <em>
    <span>I really came, didn’t I…</span>
  </em>
  <span> Meguro sighs. It was just a meeting with peers from school, but he couldn’t help but feel a little nervous. His hands felt colder than usual, and there was simple circling unrest in his stomach. </span>
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  <span>Raul had found out about the meeting— the university’s one and only peer-based grief support circle— and suggested that Meguro give it a try. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Before, I never thought I’d be someone who’d be recommended to go to such a place… </span>
  </em>
  <span>Meguro finds himself initially thinking. He wasn’t against these services… He just wasn’t accustomed to sharing his internal thoughts with people. Growing up, his parents had old fashion ideals of what it meant to raise a strong boy— Boys don’t cry, you need to be tough, yada yada yada…. Over time, his thoughts towards those perceptions slowly changed. Meeting Koji and Raul in high school was probably the most positive experience considering how both of them were quite open to sharing thoughts and to show their vulnerability. It was a healthier mindset— </span>
  <em>
    <span>Meguro knew it</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But even then, his parent’s teachings stuck to Meguro in the back of his mind, and so he continued to keep his emotions propelled inward. </span>
</p><p><span>But on another note, it wasn’t the first time Raul had tried to guide him towards these resources. Meguro knew it was an act of kindness and also an indicator that he wasn’t back to his “normal self.” </span><em><span>Shit, what even is my normal self?? </span></em><span>He didn’t know anymore. But he decided</span> <span>it wouldn’t hurt to go at least once. </span></p><p>
  <span>Plus... it made Koji and Raul smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking into the room, Meguro feels a little better. Unlike in most classrooms that he walks into, where people’s eyes awkwardly trail after him until he finds his seat, no one seems to care. No attention, </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Everyone was sitting quietly in one of the chairs that was arranged in a circle, and they were reading or quietly chatting with the people around them. As Meguro approaches the circle to take a seat, someone pokes at his elbow. </span>
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  <span>“Hey, you here for the support circle that’s starting today?” A shorter boy asks in a kind tone. Meguro turns around to see him wearing a gray hoodie, some casual jeans and a lanyard around his neck with the tag “Staff” written on it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>An upperclassman running the event, perhaps…. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Meguro guesses, and he silently nods. He’s then given a name tag to stick on his shirt, and is guided towards the circle of people. “Just wanted to tell you that we’re a safe place here. Everything said here stays in the room and never leaves. Share if you’re comfortable and pass if you’re not. It’s also okay to step out at any time too— Oh, I’m Kochi by the way.”</span>
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  <span>A little surprised by the mouthful of information, Meguro is left to simply nod again. Kochi nods back with a toothy grin, and walks back to the front of the classroom. Meguro sets himself down on an empty chair, slightly slouching to make himself smaller, and he looks around. The other members bow their heads to him in a friendly manner. </span>
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  <span>“Welcome to the circle, it’s your first time?” One of the boys sitting close to Meguro speaks up. Meguro notices a dimpled smile which makes him look younger… but suspects he is around the same age as him. Meguro nods. </span>
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  <span>“Yup,” he responds quickly, rubbing his knees with a shaky breath. Meguro knows he should probably keep the conversation going, but instead, keeps his eyes down low and stares at the hangnail on his ring finger. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I should’ve taken Rau’s offer for him to come along with me...</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading chapter 03! </p><p>You may have noticed already, but I’m using some name calling that isn’t frequently used among the members, so if that makes you uncomfortable let me know </p><p>I’m finding that some Japanese nicknames are a tad awkward to type in English. These are a couple of cute nicknames that I’m thinking of pushing forward. </p><p>Hikaru —&gt; Hii (pronounced Hee, a shortened version of Hiichan) <br/>Fukka —&gt; Tatsu (Just me wanting people to call Fukka by his first name lol) <br/>Meme —&gt; Meg (A shortened version of Megu) <br/>Sakuma —&gt; Saku (A shortened version of Sakkun) </p><p>Jesse —&gt; Jes, Jez <br/>Shintaro—&gt; Shin <br/>Hokuto —&gt; Hoku</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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